No Woman Has Ever Invited Rape
- Will Staton
- Dec 24, 2016
- 4 min read
Men, we are the problem, and only we can be the solution.
Inevitably, after high-profile rape cases, we are inundated by cases mansplaining that tries to pin blame for the crime on the victim. Among other things we hear that:
The woman was drunk, ergo she was being irresponsible.
The woman behaved flirtatiously, so she must have wanted sex.
The woman didn’t say “NO” clearly or firmly enough, so — as all mind readers know — what she actually meant was “yes”.
The woman wore revealing or “slutty” clothes, which is the same thing as an invitation for sex with a stranger.
The woman was alone in a dangerous or isolated area, and anytime a woman goes somewhere a man deems dangerous she invites rape.
No. Just no. All the no’s. Where and how does one even start to analyze such insipidness? Before debunking each of these fragile fallacies, I think it’s important to note one thing: rape is UNIVERSALLY reported as being a horrific and traumatic experience (including by the men who are raped). No one has ever come forward to say they enjoyed rape. To imagine that any woman at any point has “invited rape,” is to assume that she is an extreme masochist. For anyone to “invite rape,” there would be some feedback that rape is pleasant. There is no such feedback, and people — women in particular — are not lemmings trying to run over a cliff of physical and emotional trauma.
Suggesting that a woman invited rape is accusing her of such masochistic tendencies in the face of ALL the evidence that exists. It is the ultimate act of selfish narcissism by men, in which we seek to justify our INDEFENSIBLE actions. But now onto these fluffy and dangerous excuses that too many men still put forth as a way to justify such a horrible crime.
The woman was drunk so she was irresponsible. Actually maybe the problem is that the man was drunk and therefore being irresponsible. Actually maybe alcohol should have nothing to do with the equation. I get drunk sometimes, but I certainly don’t ask to be beaten senseless by someone who is less drunk or sober. Can getting too drunk be irresponsible? Of course. Is abusing and taking advantage of someone who is too drunk justifiable somehow, someway, in any rational universe? NO, NO, NO! People get drunk to have fun, and just because getting drunk CAN HAVE negative side effects, does not mean that the act of being drunk, or being irresponsible, is an invitation to commit a crime. Men, believing a drunk woman has invited rape because she is drunk — PREDATORY.
The woman was flirtatious so she definitely wanted sex. Maybe the woman did want to have sex, or maybe she just thinks flirting is fun. Sometimes I think flirting is fun even when it doesn’t end in sex. A woman can’t feel the same? Maybe some people enjoy witty banter without sex. Maybe what you perceive as flirtatious is just how a woman behaves, and in fact she isn’t flirting with you at all. I flirt with people — men and women — in non-sexual ways all the time. It’s my personality.It’s not creepy, it’s self-deprecating and fun, it’s how I behave. Men, believing that a flirtatious woman has invited rape is both ARROGANT and NAIVE.
The woman didn’t say “NO” clearly enough so she meant yes. It’s a two-letter, one-syllable word, how unclear can it possibly be? This one is real simple, fellas, no means no. A tepid no is just as much a no as an emphatic NO. No means no, which also, by the way, means no. Men, believing that there are different degrees of No, and that some of them mean yes, is IGNORANT and MANIPULATIVE.
The woman wore revealing clothing, so she wanted to get laid. Or maybe she wanted to get a tan? Maybe those clothes were the most comfortable for her that evening? Maybe I, as a man, can be shirtless whenever I want without expecting that someone will harass me for it, but if a woman shows skin she’s asking for rape? Or maybe a woman dressed revealingly because she was interested in sex, but found no appealing partners. Guess what, gents, that doesn’t mean you get to swoop in and “save the day,” by providing sex via rape. Men, trying to justify rape because of a woman’s clothing means you deserve to have FINGERS SHOVED UP YOUR ASS every time you go shirtless.
The woman was by herself or in a “dangerous” area, so she invited peril. Like getting too drunk, straying into certain areas can be irresponsible, but it’s not an invitation to rape. As someone who travels abroad frequently, I often find myself lost in foreign cities. That’s not my way of asking to be mugged. What if the path the woman was taking was the shortest way home? I like getting places quickly without experiencing crime. Perhaps women feel the same way? Being smart about your surroundings is always wise, but suggesting that women should intentionally avoid certain areas to avoid rape misses the point entirely, and is just another form of DISCRIMINATION against women by suggesting that there are some places that ought to be off limits for them because of their gender. Men, telling women where they can and cannot go is DISCRIMINATORY.
Most importantly, if you’re the kind of man who thinks rape CAN EVER BE JUSTIFIED then you harbor criminal intentions, you’re uninformed, and frankly, you’re NOT A MAN AT ALL. No REAL MAN ever needed to rape a woman in order to have sex. The men who rape are CRIMINALS AND COWARDS, and there is no excuse or explanation for the behavior other than that the perpetrators have committed an ATROCIOUS CRIME.
So men, commit to being such, and put these PATHETIC AND HARMFUL mindsets behind us. When men rape, men are responsible, and those who do so are less than men.
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